


Not Your Grandfather's Dating Life

by scintilla10



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blind Date, Community: insmallpackages, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-05
Updated: 2012-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-29 00:43:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/313960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scintilla10/pseuds/scintilla10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danneel sets Jensen up on a blind date.  Jensen's not very good at dating, but luckily for him, he goes anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Your Grandfather's Dating Life

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt at [insmallpackages](http://insmallpackages.livejournal.com): _Ficlet, J2, blind date_.
> 
> Many thanks to strangeallure for the beta. <33

Jensen stopped just outside the bar and tugged anxiously on the hem of his shirt. It was one of his nicest shirts, a black button-down that made his shoulders look broad and his eyes look green -- at least according to Danneel, it did. It definitely had First Date written all over it.

He stepped inside the door and waited for a moment while his eyes adjusted to the low light. Jensen had never been to this bar before -- it had been Danneel's suggestion. The whole thing had been Danneel's suggestion.

"I met this guy for you," she'd said, and Jensen had groaned. "Shut up, you'll like him!"

"You do realize that I'm the person who gets awkward and embarrassed on dates and ends up spilling drinks over people?" Jensen said.

Danneel made a face that seemed to be the beginning of a _but you'll never meet anyone if_ speech, so Jensen sighed. "Okay, I know, I know," he said. "What's his name?"

"Everyone calls him Razor," Danneel had said.

Then she refused to tell him the guy's actual name, probably because she knew that not knowing would drive Jensen nuts, and now here he was in a strange bar in a weird part of town meeting a guy with possibly the most improbable nickname of all time. It was difficult to tell if Jensen needed to worry about getting his throat slit Sweeney Todd-style or just getting mugged by a gang of thugs.

Once his eyes adjusted, Jensen glanced around. There was a guy sitting alone at a table near him, but he was doing a crossword and not paying any attention to the door. And there was another guy leaning casually against the bar, dressed in a T-shirt and well-fitting jeans -- _really_ well-fitting jeans. Jensen swallowed. The guy turned to catch him looking and held eye contact. His smile made Jensen's stomach do a really unnecessary swoop-clench-thing, and the guy cocked his head in invitation.

Okay, so this was already way better than the last date Danneel had sent him on.

"Hey," Jensen said when they were standing next to one another. The guy was really tall. "I'm Jensen. You must be --" He stopped, not wanting to be the one to bring up the nickname if it wasn't absolutely necessary.

"Jared," the guy said, and Jensen exhaled with relief. Jared smiled again, and -- yeah, he was stupidly hot. Jensen was starting to think he was way out of his league, even with a guy whose friends called him Razor. "Great to meet you," Jared said. "D'you want a drink?"

Jensen slid onto the bar stool next to Jared, ordered a beer, managed not to spill it, and then said, nodding at the bar around them, "Nice place."

"I've never been here," Jared admitted. "My friend suggested it." He fiddled a bit with his beer bottle in a way that made Jensen want to wrap him up and keep him. He glanced over at Jensen, his eyes bright, and looked like he was deliberating over something. Jensen waited. "I should just come right out and warn you," Jared said finally, "that I'm not very good at first dates."

"No?" Jensen said and raised his eyebrow.

Jared shook his head. "One time I broke my wrist trying to show off my crazy slam dunk skills and my date had to take me to the emergency room. And another time I accidentally called the police on a guy whose only crime was showing up early to pick me up for dinner." Jensen coughed on a swallow of beer and glanced at Jared. "He looked like he had a weapon!" Jared said by way of explanation. "And he was loitering on my porch."

" _Did_ he have a weapon?" Jensen asked.

"No," Jared admitted. "It turned out it was a flower."

Jensen started grinning. "Roses do have all those thorns," he said. "Very dangerous."

There was a small silence. Jared picked at the label on his beer bottle.

"It wasn't even a rose, was it?" Jensen said.

"I think it was a daisy or something, I don't know," Jared said, and there was a smile at the corners of his mouth, his dimples flashing in and out. "It was hard to tell with all the cops yelling."

"Well, just so you know," Jensen said. "I'm currently weaponless." He held out his arms. "Not even a toothpick."

Jared's expression changed suddenly and he leaned in, close enough for Jensen to see the individual strands of his eyelashes. "Can I pat you down to make sure?" Jared said, and his voice deepened and his eyes narrowed, and Jensen drew in his breath and felt his cheeks go pink.

Really, _stupidly_ hot.

Abruptly, Jared pulled back. "Um, sorry. Too much? I'm trying not to be too weird about how hot you are."

Now even Jensen's neck felt flushed. "No, I'm just -- " He swallowed. Jared's eyes flickered oh-so-briefly to his throat, and Jensen felt hot all over. "I'm not always good on first dates, either," he said finally.

Jared looked suddenly hopeful. "Yeah?" he said.

"This one time," he said, "I asked a guy to try snorkeling lessons with me and he got chased by a shark."

Jared gaped at him. "What?"

"Well, okay," Jensen said. "Not a real shark. It was one of the scuba instructors with a shark fin on his head doing a joke for the kids. But the guy was really humiliated! He'd swum for his life all the way across the pool before he figured it out!"

Jared started laughing. "You were in a _pool_?" he managed.

"Yeah," Jensen admitted, smiling. "I was really impressed by how fast he could swim," he added.

"Did you go out with him again?" Jared asked. "I mean, I know it's hard to follow a fake shark attack."

"He wouldn't answer my calls," Jensen said.

"Did you want to go out with him again?" Jared said, still grinning.

"Oh, absolutely. Anyone who comes out ahead with a shark, even a fake one, gets another shot at dinner with me."

"Classy," Jared said, nodding. He winked. He was kind of outrageous, Jensen thought, with the huge smiles and the charming awkwardness and the unexpected sex-on-wheels voice. Jensen liked him far more than he probably should after half a beer and fifteen minutes of conversation.

"Well, I'm glad you stuck with dry land this time around," Jared added.

Jensen nodded and took a deep breath. "So, y'know, all I'm saying is that I'm mostly, um. Uncomfortable around people I don't know. So dates can get awkward."

"Oh," Jared said, sounding disappointed. "Am I -- making you uncomfortable?"

"No," Jensen said honestly.

Jared's mouth curled slowly upwards. It was like watching the sun come out, Jensen thought. "Well, I promise I haven't called the cops on you," he said.

Jensen grinned back. "Well, good," he said. "I promise to help you distinguish between real and fake marine mammal attacks. If any happen to occur."

Jared's smile widened and opened his mouth to reply, but at that moment his cell phone rang. "Crap," he said, glancing at Jensen apologetically. "I'm also the guy who forgets to turn his phone off." He reached for it and then paused. "Oh, it's Aldis -- I'm just going to check in with him." He looked Jensen right in the eyes. "Don't go anywhere, okay? I'll be right back."

Jensen nodded and watched as Jared walked a few feet away and answered the call. This would have been the perfect moment for him to text Danneel and get her to fake an emergency call if he'd wanted an out. She'd promised to keep her phone with her tonight at all times for just such an event. But he was surprised and happy to find that for the first time in a long while, he really didn't want an out.

He hoped Jared wasn't faking his own emergency, but from the way he was looking over at Jensen during the phone call, his gaze lingering on Jensen's face and a tiny smile on his lips, Jensen was pretty sure that wasn't the case. Those swoopy-clenchy-things were back in his belly, but this time Jensen didn't really mind.

"Jensen?" someone said beside him.

He turned.

"Sorry I'm late," the guy next to him said. "You wouldn't believe the traffic out there. I didn't have your number, so I was hoping you'd still be here." He put his coat down on the empty stool next to Jensen and smiled. "Sorry, can we start at the beginning? Hi," he said. "I'm Razor."

Jensen stared at him blankly. "What?" he said.

Apparently-Razor-Number-Two said, "Yeah, I know, nicknames, right? This one stuck back in high school, and now I just roll with it."

"What?" Jensen said again. He looked across the bar at Jared, Apparently-Razor-Number-One, who was staring at the two of them with a strange expression on his face. He hung up his cell and started towards them.

"It's not a very interesting story, really," Apparently-Razor-Number-Two was saying. "But in the cafeteria at school there was rumor about what they put in the onion rings and --"

"Who are you?" Jensen said to Jared just as Jared said, "You're not my date."

They stared at each other.

Apparently-Razor-Number-Two said, "Uh, what's going on?"

"Aldis said the guy he wanted me to meet is called David," Jared said.

"And you're not the real Razor," Jensen said.

" _Razor_?" Jared repeated incredulously.

"It's a nickname!" Actually-Razor said. "Can someone tell me what's going on?"

Jensen looked at Jared for another long moment. Jared looked back.

"I'm sorry, Razor," Jensen said finally. "It was nice to meet you, but I'm sorry to say that I'm terrible with first dates and I really can't inflict myself on anyone else tonight."

Jared's face broke out into a grin. Razor stared at them. "What? I was only twenty minutes late," he said.

"I think this means there's a guy named David in this bar tonight who might be in need of a date," Jared offered helpfully.

Razor looked at both of them, and then promptly picked up his coat and headed for the door.

"Does this mean I can have your number?" Jared said, grinning.

"Does it mean I can have yours?"

"Only if you promise to tell me exactly how you were imagining I got the nickname _Razor_ ," Jared said.

"An inability to shave your own face evenly," Jensen said immediately.

"Oh, come on! I don't at least get prison or something?"

"Second choice was failed out of superhero school."

"Wow," Jared said. "A superhero school dropout with razorburn. I made possibly the worst first impression ever."

Jensen smiled, and then said, quickly, so he didn't wimp out, "I thought you were a smoking hot superhero school dropout, though."

It was hard to tell under the lights of the bar, but he was pretty sure that Jared went a little pink this time. He grinned, too, and his eyes met Jensen's. "Well, that's good," he said.

"Yeah," Jensen said, and grinned back.


End file.
